RESTARTING MY OWN CENTRAL PROCESSING UNIT
When you use the computer too much and download too many things, it starts to hang. The first thought that might appear in your head is to restart the computer. And that's what I have to do now, to restart my own CPU.There were many things that bothered me last month and the highlight was: did I make the right decision? Alright, I partly regret my decision. I realized I'll always be an MSUAN by heart. I miss everything about MSU; the students,the slippers,the TMs,the pater,the flood, the cool breeze, everything. And thus, I don't feel at home in SLS. My mind is in SLS but my heart longs for MSU. But having an item is not part of my regret, that's the last thing I would want from being an MSU instructor. Morrie said something like feeling what you are going through and then let go. I felt the regret and have lingered to it for too long, it's about time that I let go. I must face my decision and be positive about it. I should stop whining about everything that I have been going through. I should just look at the brighter side and look forward for a hard but rewarding year.
It's not about where I work or who do I work for. It's about how I work. If I'm miserable as of the moment it's not because the kids are giving me migraines or the bosses are asking many things but it's because I am not taking things positively. And it's because I am not too willing to accept changes. In short, I'm simply being stupid. And this has got to stop!
I am a teacher. The brain cells of those kids are my responsibility. I was able to face bigger challenges before, why can't I survive this one now? This is just the start of my career and it's a shame if I give up now. I will go to class tomorrow with optimism and enthusiasm. I will prepare everyday and reach for my goals. I have always been a super woman, why can't I be now?
I can do this!
WHY HIM
Because he is not perfect and he is not trying to be one. He understands my head and how it works. He sweetly smiles when he sees me frowning, how could I not smile back? He teases me when I am almost angry. He knows when to answer back and when to keep quite. We look at each other and we know what we are both thinking. When I commit a mistake, he laughs with me. He is the only person who can make my "no" a "yes" and my "yes" a "no". He tells me when to stop and when to go on. He is an older brother when I am stubborn, a clown when I am sad, an adviser when troubled, my smile when I am sad, and my light when everything just seem to be dark. He supports me when I am right and pinches me when I am wrong. I just smile and his irritation fades. He does not need to say a word and I know what those eyes are saying. A touch in my nose means how could I not say yes? A touch in my chin means how I missed you and squeeze in my arm means take care. He tells me when he committed something and could not sleep if I do not forgive him. Like every normal human being, we fight. But we both could not hold a long grudge. And when we see each other, we laugh and ask "and what did we fight about?". We do not communicate a lot and he understands why. We take time for each other and then back to our individual must dos. A thought of him brings a smile in my lips. No other person can make my horns blow and no other person can make me smile the way he does. He does not tell me he is mine, he just shows it to me and to everyone else. I have not known a man who wants to say and hear the three words most of the time, either through phone or personally. He does not make it sound cheesy but...magical. It's him. He does not care about my failures or imperfections and I do not care about his too. He makes me REAL, HUMAN, AND ALIVE.
I have a good job and an great opportunity to be molded. A good relationship with my friends and my family. And add to that, a great guy. How could I not be thankful?
When you use the computer too much and download too many things, it starts to hang. The first thought that might appear in your head is to restart the computer. And that's what I have to do now, to restart my own CPU.There were many things that bothered me last month and the highlight was: did I make the right decision? Alright, I partly regret my decision. I realized I'll always be an MSUAN by heart. I miss everything about MSU; the students,the slippers,the TMs,the pater,the flood, the cool breeze, everything. And thus, I don't feel at home in SLS. My mind is in SLS but my heart longs for MSU. But having an item is not part of my regret, that's the last thing I would want from being an MSU instructor. Morrie said something like feeling what you are going through and then let go. I felt the regret and have lingered to it for too long, it's about time that I let go. I must face my decision and be positive about it. I should stop whining about everything that I have been going through. I should just look at the brighter side and look forward for a hard but rewarding year.
It's not about where I work or who do I work for. It's about how I work. If I'm miserable as of the moment it's not because the kids are giving me migraines or the bosses are asking many things but it's because I am not taking things positively. And it's because I am not too willing to accept changes. In short, I'm simply being stupid. And this has got to stop!
I am a teacher. The brain cells of those kids are my responsibility. I was able to face bigger challenges before, why can't I survive this one now? This is just the start of my career and it's a shame if I give up now. I will go to class tomorrow with optimism and enthusiasm. I will prepare everyday and reach for my goals. I have always been a super woman, why can't I be now?
I can do this!
WHY HIM
Because he is not perfect and he is not trying to be one. He understands my head and how it works. He sweetly smiles when he sees me frowning, how could I not smile back? He teases me when I am almost angry. He knows when to answer back and when to keep quite. We look at each other and we know what we are both thinking. When I commit a mistake, he laughs with me. He is the only person who can make my "no" a "yes" and my "yes" a "no". He tells me when to stop and when to go on. He is an older brother when I am stubborn, a clown when I am sad, an adviser when troubled, my smile when I am sad, and my light when everything just seem to be dark. He supports me when I am right and pinches me when I am wrong. I just smile and his irritation fades. He does not need to say a word and I know what those eyes are saying. A touch in my nose means how could I not say yes? A touch in my chin means how I missed you and squeeze in my arm means take care. He tells me when he committed something and could not sleep if I do not forgive him. Like every normal human being, we fight. But we both could not hold a long grudge. And when we see each other, we laugh and ask "and what did we fight about?". We do not communicate a lot and he understands why. We take time for each other and then back to our individual must dos. A thought of him brings a smile in my lips. No other person can make my horns blow and no other person can make me smile the way he does. He does not tell me he is mine, he just shows it to me and to everyone else. I have not known a man who wants to say and hear the three words most of the time, either through phone or personally. He does not make it sound cheesy but...magical. It's him. He does not care about my failures or imperfections and I do not care about his too. He makes me REAL, HUMAN, AND ALIVE.
I have a good job and an great opportunity to be molded. A good relationship with my friends and my family. And add to that, a great guy. How could I not be thankful?
1 comment:
now, i was waiting for you to realize this. i have already told you my thoughts, it's not where you work, it's how you work and what you're working for. i wanted you to see things the way you're seeing things now, in a positive light, but i didn't want to force. i wanted you to realize things at your own time, your own pace. now, i'm happy that you have.
always remember these lines: "make the best of what you have" and "be the best of what you are."
these sayings don't mention anything about where one is, do they? :)
re: the guy. i'm happy you have him. enjoy the feeling. :)
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